I’d like to start off by clarifying my stance that Valentine’s Day is a holiday for women.
Somewhere along the way a group of you got together with Hallmark, Warner Brother’s and that guy that wrote The Notebook and ripped out its original intention which was to celebrate “the relationship.” I’m not complaining; I really don’t care. Just know that I know it happened.
To me, this is the easiest holiday for a husband to prepare for. As long as you do something, anything, no matter how unsuccessful it turns out, you still get credit.
Throw on a decent shirt, pop open a cheap bottle of red and burn the hell out of your crappy mac and cheese. You’ll still get a smile and a kiss on the cheek for trying. And while all of that is great and it’s always nice to have a day where your wife isn’t ripping you apart for not paying enough attention to her, there are some next level activities to make Valentine’s Day the most memorable day of her year.
A Husband’s Guide to a Successful Valentine’s Day
Gifts:
Nothing too fancy. If your wife is expecting diamonds in the middle of February tell her to go get married again. Proof is in the pudding and the sentimental play here is to make your own card. She doesn’t want to share the same moments that 6,000 other women shared with their crappy husbands so take the time to do it yourself.
Last Valentine’s Day I spent an entire afternoon cutting out Ron Swanson’s greatest romantic quotes and pasting them on a manila folder. Follow that up with a solid five sentence paragraph about how beautiful she is and how much you love her. Sexual undertone’s preferred but that’s really on a case by case basis.
Flowers? Yes, you must get flowers, but expand the flavor past the boring red roses that you bought from the street vendor. Do what I do… Give a price range and always defer to the florist. Just make sure you know exactly what they are before giving them to your wife. She will definitely ask.
Finally, skip the chocolates and do your best to remember her favorite dessert. It’s a win-win. She gets her preference and you don’t have to spend the next four days listening to her complain about the chocolates that she can’t put down and are making her feel fat.
Dinner:
The lighter the better. Just because you only know how to overcook ground beef and microwave pizza, doesn’t mean you can’t google, “I’m an idiot and don’t know how to make Salmon. Help!” If you’re going to splurge on anything, make it the wine. It’ll end up being the most consistent taste of the evening anyway, and if you drink a lot of it, you’re less likely to be hung over with an expensive bottle.
Movie:
Sorry… I offer no suggestions on how to avoid you’re wife picking an absolutely horrible movie. It’s romantic comedy or romantic vampires, or some variation of the two of those categories together. Drink a lot of wine, offer her a shoulder to lie on and hit the snooze button for two hours. If she picks her head up just say, “I can’t believe that just happened,” as firmly as possible. No comeback for that.
Bedtime:
Avoid your primal nature, take care of business and make sure you spend at least 15 seconds recognizing how lucky you are to have tricked this girl into marrying you.
Any other husbands (or wives) want to chime in with some more tips for a successful Valentine’s Day? You can also check out my Food Page or Yummy Dinner Recipes Pinterest Board for recipe ideas!
Follow Tricia The Good Mama’s board Yummy Dinner Recipes on Pinterest.
Great guide Tricia. I love that my husband takes the time to write how damn lucky he is to have me in a card. I really don’t need anything else but I wouldn’t tell him that!
Michelle recently posted…Shit, you shouldn’t know what taste like, but yeah you do!
Haha enjoyable post…I’d LOVE a Ron Swanson card! I think you nailed it and are sharing wonderful wisdom for the other good papas 🙂 Thanks!
Amanda Evans recently posted…20 Sensual Essential Oils for Love, Romance, and Passion
Always remember how lucky you are to have her and every day will be Valentine’s Day!
Love,
Your Mother in Law (haha).
Smart man! Valentine’s Day is a holiday for women. I completely agree about the red roses. I would much rather get some pink peonies than red roses. That card is great.
Melissa Matters recently posted…Through the Eyes of a Child
He pretty much nailed it! A conspiracy between women, Hallmark, Warner Brothers and Nicholas Sparks 🙂 And yes, any gift really will do! Ha!!
Traci@tracesoffaith recently posted…In the Heart of the Dark Wood – A Book Review
Cute! I am sure there are certainly men out there that could use some help! My question is do they even “stress” about it…probably not til the day before, right?? And — would they turn to the internet for help….I hope they know your post is out in the blogosphere! 🙂
Aubrey @ 53weeks recently posted…Family Friendly Super Bowl Halftime
Lovely list, some men are just clueless. My hubby thinks I want a “Bachelor” tv date with helicopter ride. When all I need is a flower and a sentimental card.
Timmy makes my card usually too, or at least gives me a little hand written note. I love it! He’s definitely not sappy, but he’s very thoughtful!
I absolutely love this! You’ve got yourself a keeper!
Amanda @ queenofthelandoftwigsnberries recently posted…Kid’s Island–The Perfect Winter Getaway
That card is AMAZING. We don’t really do anything for Valentine’s Day, but I might have to leave this post open for my hubby to see 😉
Lauren recently posted…I Asked, You Answered: The Moment You Knew You Were Old
This is so funny! and yes… splurge on the wine!!
Lauren recently posted…Valentine Pancakes & Fit Snack Review
Okay, I love this! It’s really funny in tone while still acknowledging that he made a pretty doggone good choice in his life partner and he’s happy to acknowledge that on Valentine’s. 🙂
Keisha recently posted…Baby Bump Clues?
cute that he did this!
nicole recently posted…Cheaters Prosper… Again.
Note to self, don’t expect diamonds on Vday! Haha! My husband makes damn good mac & cheese, I’m sure I’d still love it burnt! I think this year we’re going to go out the three of us. It’s two days before my daughters bday so technically her first Valentine’s day and we thought it’d be nice to just celebrate it together 🙂
Loved this! So cute to get your good papa chiming in on this one… Valentine’s day is overrated but regardless, it matters, so it’s nice when the man realizes that and acts accordingly. Great post!
Rachael Boley recently posted…Remember When I’m Gonna Get Big…?
This is a pretty good guide for other men to keep in mind! And hilarious card…sounds like something my husband would put together Lol!
Ana recently posted…Melted Crayon Heart on Canvas
so cute that your husband wrote a post! Love that. Good hubby! 🙂
Love this! <3 Thanks for linking up to the Bloggers Brags Party. I have pinned to the Bloggers Brags Board and I'll be featuring this on Monday!
Brandi @ penguinsinpink.com recently posted…Honey-Ginger Pear Muffins {Gluten Free}
Oh, thank you so much! I can’t wait to check it out.