Laugh
It’s very overwhelming bringing your precious, little peanut home from the hospital for the first time.
Where’s all that “motherly instinct” everyone talks about?
You mean to tell me that we don’t magically know exactly what to do for our child the moment we give birth?
What’s this huge binder the doctor just handed us? Are we going to be tested on this?
It’s enough to pull your hair out (try not to though, it’ll start falling out in clumps soon enough).
Yes, it can be a lot to take in. I spent my entire pregnancy reading about being pregnant, completely ignoring the rows of books titled,
Ah! Help me with this baby!
Fortunately, there’s no time to dwell on the fact that you have no clue what you are doing. You just have to get out there and start learning and laughing as you go.
Seriously, laugh.
…when you are on your way home from the hospital and a car in the other lane grazes yours with your fresh, out-of-the-womb NEWBORN in tow.
…when you realize that you greeted the UPS guy with your top hanging wide open, exposing your brand-new nursing bra.
…when your baby lets a magic stream of pee fly that soars directly into your face, bounces off the wall, then lands into his own eye.
One of the best sounds in this whole world is the sound of a baby’s laughter- don’t forget to lead by example.
Cry
As a new mother, there are times you’ll feel overtired, overwhelmed, and a strange connection to diary cows.
It’s okay to let it out! A good cry can do wonders, and your sweet baby won’t judge you for it.
Speaking of babies, what a bunch of cry babies! I guess it makes sense when you consider that’s the way they communicate.
Yet, every article you read online warns of the terrible dangers of allowing your baby to cry even a single second. Parents are told to bounce, rock, pat, shush extremely loudly directly into baby’s ear, anything to prevent crying.
Good Papa and I spent hours a day bouncing W on an exercise ball until I went to a talk held by the fabulous Andrea Elovson, a sleep consultant that gives talks to new moms once a month at Ali’s Wagon located in Philadelphia (Check her out at The Sleepy-Bug).
Andrea suggested simply holding your crying baby when you know that all their needs are met. She said that babies often cry when they are tired. Instead of giving baby the chance to just let it out and fall asleep, parents often do whatever they can to suppress the crying.
After listening to Andrea’s advice, I went home held W in my arms when he was tired, he cried for exactly 20 minutes and went to sleep. It was difficult listening to him cry, but I felt reassured that I was there holding and comforting him.
Laughter can certainly lift your spirits, but sometimes mommy and baby need the opportunity to cry and express their feelings.
Get Out & Make Connections
It can be extremely isolating to stay at home with a baby, especially in the beginning when the thought of leaving the house can be likened to a trip through the Amazon.
What if a sick toddler comes up and sneezes in his face?
What if I lose control of the stroller and it goes flying out into the street?
What if my arms suddenly go numb and I drop him on the concrete?
I learned quickly it was more likely that I would go insane cooped up inside than any of these outlandish “occurrences.”
Get out of the house as often as you are able. Don’t worry about your hair, make up, or clothing. All of the stress will fade as you feel the fresh air on your skin.
I also discovered how wonderful it is to have “mom friends;” women experiencing the same roller coaster ride as you.
How do you make these “mom friends?” Are there secret clubs all around the world filled with moms doing mom-like things?
Actually, yes! Well, there aren’t really any “secret” mom clubs- at least I have been invite to one…yet.
MOMS CLUB is a non-profit organization just for moms and their babies. They set up “play dates,” trips to parks/zoos/aquariums, parties and more for children of all ages and their moms. They have chapters all over the country- find your local chapter!
Accept help
So many parenting websites/books say the same thing, “Trust your instincts.” Well, I’m sorry, but we’re not sharks (shark week anyone?).
There were so many things that I learned how to do after becoming a mom: feed my baby, put my baby to sleep, strapping him into his car seat, etc.
Humans are social creatures. We work together and learn from each other.
If you have well-intentioned family and friends offering their help and advice, there is no shame in taking it.
Be Confident in your Choices
Although gathering advice from your family and friends can be beneficial, ultimately, parents have the final say.
I struggle with this sometimes. I second-guess my choices and decisions after reading an article or talking to another mom.
Luckily, I have Good Papa to remind me that we know our child best and, no matter what anyone else thinks, we decide what’s best for our child.
Make Time for your Spouse and Yourself
The first few months of motherhood can be very draining. A new, tiny person comes into town and completely takes over. All of your focus and energy are now devoted to meeting the needs of this small human.
Even when you finally get the baby to sleep, you may spend your time plotting and scheming of ways to get more sleep.
You may spend your time trying to figure out ways to feed your baby pain-free.
You may even spend entirely way too much time analyzing the contents of your baby’s diaper (don’t ask).
Don’t forget your spouse, and don’t forget yourself.
Schedule date nights, movie nights on the couch, or even spend time talking about subjects that don’t involve baby.
Take a girls’ night out, read a book, exercise, or just take a few minutes sitting quietly by yourself.
Relax & Enjoy the Ride
It’s too easy to compare your baby to others.
Look at that baby. She’s only 4 months and she’s already walking, talking in full sentences, and sleeping through the night.
Relax, every baby learns at their own pace.
It’s not a competition.
In fact, I wish I could press a button and slow it all down a bit.
If there’s one thing I have learned my first year of motherhood, it’s to be present and live within the moment.
I can’t believe my baby is already a year old! Happy Birthday, W!
How did you survive your first year of motherhood? What tips and tricks would you offer to a new mom? Leave a comment below!
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Happy Birthday W!!!! It has gone fast. I love this post Tricia – such good writing and nice to read. Of corse I love the pictures. Happy anniversary too. What a fabulous wedding – and even better- such a perfectly matched couple! xo
Rose- Thank you! It’s amazing how fast it all goes!
Happy Birthday, W! You sure have taken the world by storm and you are quite adorable as you do it.
Excellent post with great tips. It makes me want to start over and do it right this time, haha. I don’t remember exactly how I survived the first year of motherhood, but I did and liked it so much I did it 3 more times. Sometimes I look back and wish I had done things differently, but my kids have all grown up into wonderful people so I figure I did ok.
W is so cute and you managed to get perfect pictures to accompany your tips!
MaryKay- Yes, it’s easy to see why people have more than 1 child. It really does go by so fast.
Happy Birthday to W and Happy Anniversary! Great post (and the hair falling out – so true (as mine is now!)). Love the advice about laughing! I need to come in the city and check out Ali’s Wagon, seems like a great resource!
Lisa- Yes, I thought I was in the clear with the hair falling out until 6 months after giving birth. No fun! You should definitely check out Ali’s Wagon. I’ll be doing a post in a few weeks about all the different places we go to in Philly. There are a lot of great resources for parents in this area!
You forgot “repeat itgoesaway itgoesaway itgoesaway” like a mantra into the mirror 🙂 .
No, all good advice. Except the letting the baby cry thing – which I get, because it totally worked on my second child, but my first was what someone (Moxie?) called an “intensifier” – meaning the crying worked them up and your best bet was to do whatever you needed to do to calm them quickly or pay the consequences. But there is also such a thing as the opposite – a “releaser” – which is as you describe.
The exception that proves the rule etc 🙂
Bronwyn-Joy- You are so right! When you are in the moment you feel like things will never get better than all of a sudden they are all grown up. And, it’s amazing that all babies are so different. W definitely would qualify as a “releaser.” He might be the rare one though? haha. He was never a great sleeper!
This is wonderful! We survived by making sure we spent time together and going on little mini dates 🙂
Katie- Thanks for your comment! Little mini dates are better than nothing!
Aw, happy birthday to your baby boy! Being a mother (especially in the first year) is the most difficult task, but I have never felt so fulfilled. 🙂 These are all great suggestions! Great post!
Jenny- Thank you! It’s such a rewarding job!
happy Birthday to your sweet boy… my oldest just turned 6… and I feel like it was just yesterday that he was born! I totally agree with all of your suggestions!
Lauren- Happy belated birthday to your boy! Thanks for your comment.
I survived my first daughter by being in denial that she was a crying, spitting up, nipple pulling baby. In my haze of having a first born she way the sweetest, bestest baby in the whole wide world. My second I survived by holding on to her for what seems like 24hrs a day and never letting her leave my sight. My third and fourth daughters I am surving on a hope, wish and prayer.
Natasha- It’s amazing how each baby is so different. I’m sure my tips will change for the second child.
I love this post! Such good advice! My youngest is going to be 2 next week and my big guy is 4. I swear it seems like some days are never ending but the years fly by. Happy birthday to your sweet boy!!
Amy- You’re right! Some days are so long, but the months & years fly by so fast. Thanks for your comment!
You give such great advice. All first time mothers-to be should read this.
Happy Birthday to your son.
Shelah- Thank you so much for your sweet comment!
Great list!!! Happy birthday to your precious peanut! Enjoy every minute…it goes by so fast, but it just gets better and better!
Rachael- I agree! I’m having so much fun watching him grow.
I would not have been able to survive my first year without my mother. She was my rock. Your post is great advice for any new mom!
Tamara- Yes, I feel so fortunate to have both a mother and mother-in-law who are so supportive and all around amazing!
This post was perfection! I loved it! So much I can relate to as a mother of 3. Thanks for sharing! Please check out my blog Brookie the Brave. It follows the life of my little family as we strive to create memories and find happiness even when one of our kiddos has serious health issues. Thx!
Brit- Thanks for your comment! I’ll be checking out your blog!
Just perfect!
Great post! I definitely wondered when the cloud of motherly knowledge was going to descend and tell me what to do, or make me feel like I was doing things right. Still waiting…
Melissa- Haha, maybe one day!
Congrats on baby turning one! I always say that’s a bigger milestone for mommy and daddy than for baby 🙂 Love the advice, especially making time for your spouse. Too true!
Mommy A to Z- Yes! W didn’t even seem to notice it was his birthday yesterday. He did really enjoy his birthday cupcake though!
Thank you for this post! As a first time mummy to a 4 week old, today we have very much been having a crying day and I needed to read this to pick me back up that my baby isn’t sad and I’m not failing him, he just doesn’t know how else to talk to me! Happy birthday to W and happy anniversary to you and Good Papa xx
Yes, those days are tough! It’s like another commenter said, “some days are so long, but the years fly by.” Congratulations on your baby boy!
I’m past this point but these are all perfect advice for new Moms! Thank you for linking up to the Bloggers Brags Pinterest Party. I have pinned your post to the Bloggers Brags Pinterest board.
Thank you for the comment and for the pin!
When I look back it’s ridiculous how much I didn’t know – just made it up as I went along! lol! She’s about to start kindergarten so I haven’t done too badly so far. Congrats on your 1st year of motherhood!
Emma @ P is for Preschooler recently posted…Kindergarten Skills You Almost Forgot
Thank you! And, congrats to you on raising a kindergartener. I taught Kindergarten before I decided to stay at home. It’s such a fun age!
This is such a great post Tricia. Being a new Mom can be totally overwhelming. Your suggestions are AWESOME! I think it’s so important to have a good cry, laugh and to accept help. LOVE IT!
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Nicole- Thanks for your lovely comment!
Oh your story brought back some wonderful memories of bring my daughter home from the hospital. What a scary and wonderful time lol. My best tip to you is to cherish each and every moment you can because time will fly by so fast your won’t even know it. My daughter is 22 yrs old and it seems like yesterday she was 1 yr old too.
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Maggie Anders- Thanks for your comment! I’m sure it seems like 22 years went by in a flash.
I agree with all your tips. I felt more of a competition with my oldest son and other babies his age, and luckily I relaxed with our second child. Babies grow at their own pace, and every kid is different. Just breathe and enjoy your time with them. They grow so fast!
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Nicci- Yes, I think you have to remind yourself that every baby is different every so often because it’s easy to start comparing. I’m sure I’ll be a lot more laid back with the second child too.
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