It’s HOT Topic time! Be sure to check out the Good Mama’s previous hot topics on Extended Breastfeeding and U.S. Maternity Leave Laws.
W may be crawling his way into Kindergarten.
This boy just does NOT want to walk. He has taken a few steps here or there. He walks along fine holding our hands. He even stands right up without holding onto anything.
Walking? He is just not there yet.
Now, W may not walk, but he does crawl- fast. He would definitely beat me in a “crawl-off” (Although, I don’t really know if that’s saying much).
Every child is different.
Every child learns at their own pace.
W will move on from all fours eventually.
Though I do worry, given his speedy crawling, that W will skip the walking stage altogether.
I fear he may stand up one day and decide to just start running.
If/When this happens I know my carefree days of raising a baby will be over. We will be entering toddlerhood.
Fortunately, my niece is three months older than W, so I am able to get a glimpse on what is to come.
The other day W and I went apple picking (Check out our Fall To Do List) with my mother, sister-in-law, and niece. After a long, napless day of apple-picking in the sun, my niece had a moment of frustration when my mother tried to hold her hand through the parking lot.
She did NOT want my mom to hold her hand, and she did NOT want to be carried. My mom eventually got my very unhappy niece to the car, but it made me think about the topic of child leashes.
Child Leashes- HOT TOPIC
Hot Topic Question: Are child leashes a sign of lazy parenting OR a useful, safety tool?
I’ll be honest. Before I had W, I did judge parents/caregivers who used child leashes. I’m not entirely sure why.
Maybe it’s the name. When I think of the word “leash,” my head immediately goes to my dog.
Do we really want to use something for our children that we use for our dogs? I mean, holding a piece of cheese out to my son to get him to walk to me just the other day is NOTHING like training a dog.
I may have also just brushed off those leash-toting parents as unwilling or unable to teach their child how to stay by their side. They are just too lazy to pay attention to their child out in public.
Is it really that difficult to keep an eye on your child in public and make sure they don’t run off?
My attitude has definitely changed since becoming a parent myself. Here is my list of reasons I think child leashes are useful, safety tools.
- Safety: This is the obvious number one reason to use child leashes. We are heading to Disney World this October. There are people everywhere, and there are lots of tempting attractions that may pull children away from parents. When we went when I was little, my youngest brother (Read about Bill in Hiking with Baby) walked off from our group, and my parents endured what was I’m sure one of the scariest few minutes of their lives until they found my brother with a security guard. I’d take others’ judging looks over losing my child any day.
- Independence: Some people may say that child leashes take away a child’s independence, but I would argue the opposite. When a child is expected to stay by a parent’s side in public, then they are sure to hear a lot of “no’s” throughout the day. When you use a leash, you take the “no” out of the conversation. Instead, you can let your child freely explore at a safe distance.
- Health: A stroller is an alternative to a leash for parents’ who want to keep their child safe in public. A stroller may be nice for long distances, but many children get antsy if stuck in a stroller too long. I know my son does and he isn’t even walking yet. It may be easier to push the stroller along, but children need the exercise. Bonus: walking will tire them out!
- Every child is different: Some children have less impulse control than others. There are some parents of children with special needs that may find leashes beneficial.
In the end, I don’t know if I will use a child leash or not. I have since learned to “never say never” when it comes to parenting. I have also learned, unfortunately, that we parents really judge either a lot. There’s a whole sit devoted to people posting pictures of children on leashes to laugh at them. Seriously, what is wrong with people? I think we may be all better off if we put the focus on finding the best way to parent our own children.
Now it’s your turn! What do you think? Are child leashes a sign of lazy parenting or are they a useful, safety tool? Let me know in the comment section below!
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oh, that is a tough one. I definitely wouldn’t call it lazy parenting. If you have a couple kids and you’re in a crowded area, its probably smart. I think the key would be to use it confidently and not worry about what anyone thinks. easier said than done 🙂
Maggie May’s Gifts recently posted…Fall Air Freshener (natural and easy)
Maggie- You are right about using it confidently. It’s difficult to not let what others think get to us though.
I was definitely a judger of leash-users pre-baby; now, not so much. I still don’t want to use one for my very independent toddler (the Jane/niece mentioned above in the post), but when baby number 2 arrives in the spring and I’ve got to lug him/her around AND chase Jane… I may be singing a different tune. Safety should be higher on the priority list than fear of judgment.
Melissa- I’m sure leashes will look more appealing with more than one child. I agree with you that safety is the most important thing.
Safety is a priority and I think we have to trust parents who know their child the best. I do cringe a little whenever I see a child on a leash but then I think of the time my oldest ran away from across a park towards a busy street and the time my youngest wandered off in the bus line at Disney World. Just the memory almost gives me a heart attack! To leash or not to leash? Parents’ choice!
MaryKay- It’s definitely a parents’ choice. Parents know their child best!
It really is true, every child is different.. he will walk when he is ready..
Kungphoo- I know! He’ll do it eventually.
I never used a leash because I thought they looked barbaric, but I had a runner and if I let him out of my site for even a second, he would have been gone. I totally get why people use them.
Robin- Yes, I don’t know what it is about the look of them that turn people off.
This is a tough one but I agree with all your points. I haven’t used one yet, but in crowded places, certainly would! Its more about safety than anything in my opinion.
Rachael- Yes, it’s funny. I used to think kids who wore helmets were weird (when I was little). Now, I don’t think anyone would think wearing a helmet is “weird.” Maybe perceptions will change for leashes.
I do not think its lazy parenting. My husband before our daughter didn’t like the idea, but he has rethought the idea.
Nicole recently posted…3 Fundamental Requirements for a Powerful Personal Brand
Nicole- Yes, I think a lot of people change their minds about leashes when they have children.
I wrote a post a little while ago called “Yeah she’ll wear a Leash. I mean, a harness!” My daughter took off on me in the parking lot, so I have no judgement towards parents who use them. I still haven’t gotten one, but it’s on the list. I love your “hot topics” idea for posts!
Tarynn Playle recently posted…My Sunday Photo-9/28/14
Tarynn- I’ll have to check out that post of yours! It can be really scary in the parking lot with a little one I’m sure. Thank you! If you ever have any ideas for a hot topic, send me an e-mail. I would love to have you on for a guest post.
IMO, the leashes are a safety thing. I have been thinking of getting one. better safe than a child running around and getting hurt
Katrina- I totally agree! Thanks for your comment.
That is a great question and one for the ages. I’ll admit to having raised an eyebrow at leashed kids before but not being a parent myself and not walking in those shoes, I didn’t feel I should judge. But I do agree that it’s every parent’s choice.
WendyKate recently posted…Maybe The Italians Didn’t Even Invent Lasagna To Begin With
WendyKate- Thanks for you comment. I think it’s tough because other people judge the looks of them. I agree that it’s every parent’s choice.
I have a 16 month old that isn’t walking yet either but he still manages to get into everything. We will probably need that leash thingy.
Mnggie recently posted…Why I’m making October the Month of Maggie
Maggie- I’m glad W is not the only non-walker! I know he’ll get there eventually. He does get into everything too. I worry about what’s going to happen once he gets running.
I was just like you – before I became a parent I said that parents who used “leashes” with their kids were lazy and apparently didn’t know how to parent. Now that I am a parent, that opinion has done a complete 180.
Carly Anderson recently posted…Fall is Here Giveaway + Let it Shine
Carly- It seems like most of us parents were like that!
toddlerhod…dum, dum dum….
once they start walking it is a definate game changer
I don’t mind child leashes. I think they’re an acceptable way to allow kids to safely explore their environment. Should a child always be on a leash? No. But there is a time and a place for everything. Parents are judged so harshly, it’s ridiculous. No two children are alike. What works for one family may not work for another and that’s okay.
Sojourner- HAHA! It’s scary! Thanks for your comment. I agree!
oh I totally agree on the part of never say never…in fact I totally relate to ur thoughts on the leash. I purchased a few in the form of little back packs for the occasions where I might need to use them. I have never had to so I guess I’m fortunate?? Haha but we had to bring an umbrella stroller to disneyland and I have had to carry a screaming child everytime he tries to run off into a Carpark without holding my hand. So I say whatever works! Don’t judge! 🙂
Rachael- It’s nice to have them as backup I’m sure. Kids are so independent!
I can see how parents would want one, my autistic son was always *trying to take off. I couldn’t justify putting my son on a ‘leash’. If I ever saw a picture of my mother with me wearing one instead of holding me or redirecting me…I’d be really upset.
Tanya Coffman recently posted…It’s Fall Y’all!
Tanya- Thanks for your comment. I don’t know if I would be upset with my parents. I probably would just laugh at the picture.
Tricia,
I agree that with a few commentators above that this is a tough one. I honestly could go either way. We have never used a leash, but I could certainly see myself in a desperate situation (like international travel) where I would perhaps try a leash. I think working to control your child with verbal correction is a good path to travel down, but ultimately we all find ourselves in situations, where we just want to feel security and not worry that our child wandered off. Loving the hot topics, girl!
Have a great week.
Lauren
p.s. thanks for all your input recently. you were super helpful!
Lauren Tamm recently posted…5 Steps to Stop Toddler Biting in its Tracks
Lauren- Thanks for you comment. Yes, I’m not sure what I will do when the time comes, but I don’t think I can judge any parent for using a leash. I’m glad you found my input helpful! Let me know if you have any ideas for a hot topics post for the future. I would love to have you on.
NOT lazy parenting, and not a bad thing unless the adult is specifically using it and KNOWS THEY ARE, in a bad way. Children are FAST, and in this world, it’s our job to protect them. If that means, in a busy place like a zoo, park, museum, or just a busy downtown area, using a child restraint to keep them close, then why not?
Lisa recently posted…Pizza and a Movie Night with 18 Netflix Titles #StreamTeam
Lisa- Leashes can definitely be used in a bad way I’m sure, but I think it can also be used to be a good tool like you said.
I (like many) used to judge before I had kids. But that feeling of panic when you don’t know where your child is, is a terrible thing! I like the cute animal backpacks with the removable leash – doesn’t look so leash like (leather leash and a harness?!! Ew). Or the wrist cuffs that connect to the adult.
Marya- I think the backpacks are cute too. I like, what one commenter mentioned, that you can put things in there too. I was guilty of judging too!
Honestly, I think it depends on the child. Some children might understand earlier and have a better concept of safety awareness. Other children might not. Especially for special needs children (autistic), who might be prone to wandering and/or bolting… those child leashes can be a life saver in a crowd or near a busy street.
Kori recently posted…Learning Begins at Home
Kori- I agree. I can definitely see the benefit for using them with children with special needs. Safety is most important!
I’ve never used a leash and never would. However, I’m sure some kids are just super difficult to keep nearby so I understand why some do.
Liz Mays recently posted…4 Easy Ways to Support Denny’s No Kid Hungry Campaign
Liz- Yes, I think everyone parents differently and that’s okay.
Love your “Hot Topic” segment 🙂 I think child “leashes” are great especially when in a crowded public place.
Dawn @ Pin-n-Tell recently posted…Pinner of the Week {Food’N Service}
Dawn @ Pin-n-Tell- Thank you! I agree.
Great Hot topic! It just depends on the situation and on the parent. I know of a child who was a “runner” and got hit by a car backing up in a parking lot. 🙁 he didn’t get hurt, but that mom did use the “leash” method for all of the terrible 3’s and 4’s! 😉
Danielle recently posted…Fighting the Signs of Aging with BioGanix
Danielle- Thank you! That is so scary. I’m glad to hear that he didn’t get hurt. I would definitely be using a leash after that.
I wouldn’t judge anyone using one but I have never used one and probably never will. If you have a child that tends to run wherever they want and they don’t care if you are close to them Then I think it would be better safe than sorry.
Esther recently posted…“Treasury of Bible Stories” by Kelly Pulley Review
Esther- Yes, I think safety takes priority.
I agree- all kids develop differently.
You know what- I can’t judge either ways on the “leashes”. I think it’s so easy for people to judge what others are doing versus looking at what’s going on in their own homes. My daughter is physically disabled and can’t really run off or do any of those things, so I’ve never had to deal with any of the issues but I can certain see the pros with them.
Jaime Nicole recently posted…Momofuku Ginger Scallion Sauce Recipe + James Spader
Jaime- Yes, it’s best to remember that we really don’t know what’s going on at home.
I used to judge but now as a parent I think of things like them running off or getting kidnapped. People can give me dirty looks all day long but my kid isnt going to be kidnapped or running off any time soon.
Christina- This seems to be a common theme. It’s easier to judge when you don’t have a child ready to run off any moment yourself.
I love the comparison of a child being in a leash and a stroller. It’s so true that a stroller is more confining than a leash but nobody speaks out about the child being tied up in the stroller. I’ve never heard this comparison before.
Michelle recently posted…Appetize With Zesty Fried Pickles
Michelle- Honestly, I feel like they are the same thing. It’s just that a stroller is more acceptable. Thanks for your comment!
This is a tough one, I had my judgements as well. I never used a leash on my children, and I think I *may* be in the clear for never using one. I hope. My kids are 12,8,6. However, I can totally see using it for the safety aspect! For that reason alone, I’m thinking I need one 🙂 I’ve used the stop and red light method with my kids because kids and cars are scary.
I’m going to put on my amateur psychologist hat on for a second though….
How does the usage of leashes effect the child? Does he or she feel free, or wonder why do these kids walk freely while I’m restrained…
I don’t know the answers, so, I remain neutral, because what you chose to do with your child, is your business, as long as it doesn’t hurt your child. If one decides to use a leash, I don’t see them as less of a parent, rather I see them as loving, they want their child to be safe because they love them. I do think at some point you have to let the leash go and teach the child that we must behave and walk and follow rules.
XO
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Mrs. AOK- Yeah, that’s a good point. I wonder how the child would feel on a leash. Would they rather be in the stroller? I don’t know. I think after a certain age they probably would have an issue with it, but I think if they are really young they wouldn’t even remember (1-3). I mean, I don’t remember anything that young.
I think they are safe for large crowds. Not on a walk around the neighborhood per se, where a stroller or hand holding would do, but definitely for crowds. My nephew had a monkey “leash” that was also a backpack, and I think that’s a cool idea. He could explore, but he was safe, and he could put things in his backpack as he collected them.
Nicci recently posted…Joys of Being a Mom
Nicci- Yeah, the backpacks are cute. I’m with you. I don’t think it would be necessary to always have your child “leashed up,” but I see no harm in using it in really crowded areas.
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This is a good question! Before I was a parent I would have said, “never!” but…experience changes things, lol! While it’s important to teach kids to walk with us and not run into the street, etc., like you said, some kids are simply not so great at impulse control. Our first job is to keep them safe, so if a leash is what you need to do, then you need to go for it.
Emma recently posted…Halloween Printables and We Love Weekends linky
Emma- Yes, I was totally the same way. I think safety is the first concern now!
My parents had me in a leash (it does sound like I were a dog). But I think it’s a brillian tool. But like all tools, it should be used correctly. I wished about a million times I could have bought one for my son. But they are not sold here.
Joanna Sormunen recently posted…Arroz Relleno – Or Ecuadorian Chicken Risotto
Joanna- I guess we should use the word “harness” instead. I wonder if you could get it shipped to Ecuador?
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