One of the most difficult things I have experienced as a new parent, besides the constant worry (IS she still breathing?!), is the lack of sleep.
I love sleep. I need my sleep. I get really scary/cranky if I don’t get enough sleep. Just ask Good Papa. So, the newborn phase (or entire first year of life with my firstborn), can be a challenge for me.
It isn’t all bad though.
If you wade through the lack of sleep-induced fog cluttering up your brain and really think about it, you may find quite a few benefits of waking up with a newborn. Although, I should warn you. As a severely sleep-deprived parent of a newborn, I would take everything I say with a grain of salt.
10 Benefits of Waking Up with a Newborn
1. I get all my shopping done… and then some. No, I have not been dragging two kids all over creation just so I can buy a new pair of boots and some toilet paper. I can barely make it out of the house these days. Instead, I have been frequenting the wonderful amazon.com for all my shopping needs. The “one click purchase” button is both amazing and frightening. I find myself making excuses to the delivery man. “Those can’t all be for us?! I’m sure amazon accidentally sent us the wrong orders. Crazy! That’s the second time this month!”
2. I don’t need to buy a Halloween costume. These dark circles and bags under my eyes are all I need for the perfectly creepy zombie costume. I hope I don’t give too many children nightmares.
3. I am all over social media. Who can you count on to like all your posts and pictures? I have never had more time to “like,” “tweet,” “pin,” and “post.” It’s too bad it’s just me and a bunch of drunk college students. I’m fairly certain the top tweeted articles at 4 am are “25 Drinking Games to Play When You’re Bored” and “50 Ways Toddlers are Secretly Running Your Household.”
4. I am being trained. What for? I’m not sure. All I know is if our government is suddenly in search for an almost 30-something mom of two for a top secrete mission that requires little to no sleep, the search stops here. I’m the sleep-deprived Jack Bauer.
5. I can chat with all of my friends in Australia. Alright, fine. I don’t have many friends in Australia, but my younger brother is over there right now. The one time he messaged my family I was the only one up to answer. You’re welcome, well-rested family members!
6. I am getting an education. I’m pretty positive I deserve some kind of Doctor Google diploma for all the knowledge I have gained “researching” in the middle of the night. Why does my newborn keep waking up every hour? Why can’t men breastfeed too? Can a person die from lack of sleep (Don’t worry. I googled that question for you… it is possible to die from lack of sleep)?
7. I’m noticing a lot more “details.” Ever wonder what phase the moon is in? I know! Ever wonder how early the garbage men pick up the trash? I know that too! Ever wonder if your husband sometimes snores in the middle of the night? Well, wake up to feed a newborn and you’ll find out. In case you were wondering… a swift, yet subtle kick to his leg will stop the snoring for a few minutes.
8. Late night snacks! Yes! I can finally eat whatever I want without having to share with an ever-hungry toddler. Although, according to my Doctor Google degree, chocolate must be avoided because the caffeine may wake the baby. Damn you, google!
9. We no longer need a security system. I’m the next best thing to a watch dog. Wait, I’m even better because I can communicate in meaningful phrases to some degree. Just don’t ask me to help if there’s an actual intruder. Although, I may be able to scare the intruder away with my appearance alone. See number 2.
10. I get to soak up lots of extra snuggles with my daughter. A lack of sleep is no walk in the park, but I know all too well that this newborn phase doesn’t last forever. Pretty soon I’ll be chasing her around and she won’t want anything to do with my snuggles (looking at you, W). So, instead of blissfully sleeping away the nighttime hours, I’ll be up trying my best to enjoy these short-lived moments… while training for my possible top secret spy mission for the government.