The Reason Second Children Are So Resilient

The transition from one to two kids is tough. 

I sat on the couch cradling my only-a-few-weeks-old infant girl with tears streaming down my face. My toddler looked on with worry in his eyes. I pulled out my phone and began dialing my husband.

The Reason Second Children Are So Resilient

Good Papa answered the phone with a sense of apprehension in his voice. I don’t typically call in the middle of a work day.

“W threw a pumpkin at Sweet P!” I gasp into the phone between sobs.

“Wait, what?” I can sense Good Papa trying his best to decipher the level of seriousness through the phone.

I take a deep breath, wipe the tears away and try my best to calmly explain the situation. “W picked up one of our decorative pumpkins and tossed it. It landed on Sweet P’s head!” I say slightly less frenzied.

“Is she alright? What pumpkin?”

“I’m not sure. It was one of those decorative pumpkins. But, it was the BIGGEST decorative pumpkin!” I let another sob escape.

“Okay. It’s going to be alright. Did she cry? Do you need me to come home?” He’s always so calm. How is he always so calm?

“Yeah, she really cried for a little. She’s loud! She does seem fine now. There’s a little red mark. Honestly I think she’s okay. I don’t need you to come home. Though, I think I’ll call the doctor’s just to be sure since it’s her head.”

“Okay, do whatever you need to do to feel better. Please let me know what the doctor says.”

I hang up feeling slightly more at ease. I’m no longer hysterical. I glance at W. He’s sucking his thumb hard and his eyes are filled with concern. I feel bad. The transition to two has been tough on him too. I still can’t get past the feeling of utter disappointment in myself.

Why did I leave the baby so exposed? Why didn’t I see W and stop him before he threw the pumpkin? Why did I insist on having those silly decorative pumpkins right within toddler reach? Why did I yell at poor W? Poor, Sweet P! How are my kids ever going to bond if one of them is constantly trying to bop the other one over the head? 

I try to push those thoughts out of my head, then pick up my phone again and dial the doctor’s office. A friendly nurse answers, I take another deep breath and begin to explain the situation to her.

She reassures me that my daughter is probably fine, but she gives me signs to look for in case she’s not. She encourages me to call back if I notice anything off with Sweet P.

She then gives a chuckle and says, “It’s a wonder how any of these younger siblings survive their older siblings!”

I laugh and respond, “Well, I somehow made it. I’m a second child myself.”

Then it hit me. I’m a second child. I think of my older brother; we have almost the same age gap as W and Sweet P. I have not known a life without him. He has always been there to set an example (good and bad, but mostly good), to laugh with, to share toys and our thoughts, to toughen me up. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without him.

Second children don’t have to deal with parents breathing down their necks, worrying and stressing about every move, every milestone. Second children learn to not take life too seriously with the help of older siblings and significantly-less-anxious parents. Yes, second children may get toys snatched out of their hands, bopped over the head a few times and hand-me-down clothes, but they are stronger for it.

Good Papa is a second child. I’m positive his birth order played a role in his constant cool, calm and casual demeanor.

My mind goes back to Sweet P and W. It may be tough today, but it’ll be worth it in the end. They’ll have each other. They’ll both play a role in shaping each other’s personalities, and, hopefully, make each other better people.

The transition from one to two kids is tough. 

But that’s okay. It’ll get easier, then harder, then easier, then maybe harder again. Who said this parenting gig would be simple?

It’s going to be alright though. I can take each day as it comes. I can go-with-the-flow.

I’m resilient. I’m tough. I’m a second child. 

Oh, and, Sweet P and W have both completely recovered from the “pumpkin incident.”